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How To Get Revenge On Your Ex

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Here you are. Perhaps knuckles deep in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, maybe two years back into your ex’s Instagram feed.

You’re either seething with animosity or deeply pained; either way, this kind of hurt sucks hard.
So you want revenge on your ex? For the scumbag that cheated on you or the person that couldn’t see how amazing they had it.

You’ve come to the right place. The ultimate revenge is what we all dream of getting when it comes to past lovers.

You could get dressed up to the tens. Look like a complete snack and “casually” drop into the bar your ex and his friends frequent. Maybe have a guy (or girl) friend your ex never met hang on your arm as you walk in.

Or maybe you’re a bit more hands-on. TP’ing their house may seem childish, but how they treated you was childish. It’s justifiable. Plus, you already bought a Costco amount of toilet paper.

Those are cute, to say the most. But there’s an even better way to get revenge on your ex.

And I’m here to tell you what that is.

The ultimate revenge you can get on your ex is this:
Move on and live your best life without them.

Yes, I’m saying the best revenge is no revenge at all.

I assume you’ve already spent enough time wondering what went wrong, trying to get your ex’s attention inadvertently, or figuring out how you can win them back.

But the fact of the matter is, they chose a life without you. And that’s the best thing they could’ve done for you.

When you linger in resentment, you give your energy to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”
― Marcus Aurelius

I always say a grudge has a population of one.

Holding onto resentment and living in the emotions of hurt, betrayal, and sadness is letting a person that broke your heart still have control over you.

You have one life to live. Stop giving time from your numbered days to a person that mistreated you.

Haven’t they caused you enough pain?

If they hurt you, they will get what they deserve on their own.

Let their shitty personality or fucked up morals guide them into their self-created hell.

Let their love lives play over and over on a loop, never feeling fulfilled and ultimately lonely.

People will only put up with their bullshit for so long. Sooner or later, they’re going to have a hard slap of reality happen, and they won’t know how to handle it.

What I’m saying is, they’ll get what they deserve without you intervening.

Take the time you need to grieve, but know you’re better off without them.

I hate advice where people say, “But they were a dick.. forget them!” Well, if it were that easy, Jessica, don’t you think I would’ve done that?
Everyone takes a different amount of time to grieve and work through their emotions. It’s not going to do yourself any good if you pretend you’re not hurting when you actually are.

So go ahead and grieve. Feel hurt.

Just don’t linger in those emotions more than necessary. Don’t allow those feelings to drive you to do something that’s going to hurt you even more.

Love yourself more than you hate them.

You have a choice of who to give your energy to: yourself or your ex. I implore you to choose the former.

Focus your energy on self-love. Choose your happiness over your disdain for your ex.

Take care of your health, go for walks, see old friends; do whatever it is that makes you happy.

Even better, do all the things you never did while you were in the relationship. Remind yourself that without the constraints from that person, you’re freer to do whatever the hell you want.

Having them watch you live your best life will be the revenge you wanted.

Nothing drives someone crazier than watching a lover they wronged move on and become the best version of themselves.

Your ex will have to see the amazing human you are rise up when they thought you’d fall. They will see a part of you they never saw because they, in fact, held you back from being the best version of yourself.

Your success and happiness will be a result of your doings, not theirs. And watching you do something that courageous and badass will be the best revenge you could have on them.

Remember: people will break your heart and make you cry, but they can never break your spirit.

Use the gift of your ex leaving you to move on to an even better life, one where you spend it with people who choose to stay.

That’s the best revenge you could ever get.
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